There have been plenty of big things that have occurred; things that I certainly had many thoughts about. But for some reason I was in a place that I didn't feel like I had to share them. I've come to a point in my life that I am able to work out things inside myself. I also realize that most people, outside of a general voyeurism, could give two shits about what happens in my head.
But hey, I'm going to write something anyway.
Anyway, of all things, I'm pregnant. More than six months pregnant actually with a little girl. It still blows my mind on a regular basis that I'm going to have a kid. I know people do this all the time -- I'm far from the first person in the world to make a baby. But it is a shocking thing to do it nonetheless.
I used to think it wouldn't matter if the baby came from inside your body and from your genetics, or if you took in the baby from somewhere else. I think I may have been wrong. This is not to say that you cannot love a kid that isn't your blood; far from it. But there is something quite amazing about realizing there is a little person living inside your body and you actually MADE it.
I still can't entirely wrap my head around it.
I am also entirely convinced I'll screw her up. But I suppose, my parent's screwed me up but I still turned out okay in the long run. I mean, I'm messy and temperamental; I'm excessively opinionated and I can be a cynical yet oddly self conscious bitch; BUT I'm also loving and artistic and smart (at least I can fake it well) and some how I manage to function as an adult and a wife.
So we'll add mommy to the list and see how I manage.
