In general, I am very private.
This may come as a surprise to the people that know me. However, most of my thoughts and feelings I keep to myself. And for good reason. Some things lose their meaning when they become ink on paper or pixels on a screen.
Some thoughts are exceedingly foolish when they see the light of day.
I have, on and off, for years kept a private journal. But now, and for a long time, I have not written a single word. I'm not entirely sure why that is, but I think it is the same reason I share my thoughts so infrequently. At least my deep abiding thoughts anyway.
Occasionally, I just can't hold it in and I blurt something out that I've wanted to say for a long time. Usually it causes strife. But there are times and thoughts that I cannot keep inside, even if I intended to.
I know this is all rather vague, but that's the way it needs to be. I am quite certain that there are things that I should not post on the Internet for the whole world to see, and still be able to keep my dignity. More than I care to admit, I do concern myself with the opinions others have of me.
It's funny, though, what that means to me. I am not all that concerned with whether or not people in general choose to like me. There are very few people who's ideas of me make any impact. Which is an exceptionally cold thing to say, I know, but honest. I am okay with being despised, as long as it is for the right reasons.
Hate me for who I am if you must, but don't have delusions about who that is. Chances are, if you look down on me, in my mind, your opinion doesn't matter. There are only a select few individuals that have touched my life who's opinions mean something to me. If you are one of those few, I'm sure you know who you are.
How to tell? You know more than what I've written here. Perhaps you've seen me truly angry, or you have seen me cry. Or you've been there when my mouth has gotten out of my control and you have seen, if just for a moment, the truth of who I am.
Or you haven't, and you have no idea what I'm talking about. And I'm the one that's delusional.
I wonder if anyone really knows me at all.
Saturday, February 28, 2009
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
Obituary
ROBERT JOHN ( McDaniel) STEELE
Robert Steele, of Congress Drive in the Town of Trenton, passed away at his home Monday evening, February 2, 2009, after a valiant battle with lung cancer. He was 58 years old. Robert John was born in Rockford, IL on August 22, 1950, son of Robert H. and Shirley Ostrander Steele. He grew up in Boscobel and eventually his family moved to Fredonia and then Port Washington, where he graduated from Port Washington High School in 1969. After his schooling, Robert began working at Voeller Mfg. After the company was sold, he was hired by the new owners, now called Voeller Mixers, Inc.
Along with his 38 years as a machinist at Voeller, he held many part-time jobs. Supporting his family was his top priority. On May 11, 1974 he was united in marriage with Bonnie Lee Schmucker at Friedens Evangelical Church in Port Washington. Together they built a home in the Town of Trenton and raised two sons. Other than his family, his passions were fishing, hunting, his Harley and gardening. Robert was also very involved with the Port Washington Summer Theatre Company for 28 years. He did everything from building sets, playing cameo roles, working stage crew, selling concessions and videotaping to crowd control. Robert will always be remembered for his off-beat sense of humor, his honesty and his integrity.
Robert is survived by his wife Bonnie Lee and their sons Lucas (Kay) Steele of Sheboygan and Nathan (Deborah) Steele of Port Washington. He is further survived by his father Robert H. Steele of Wauzeka, sister Tamara (Mark) Short of Kenosha, parents-in-law William & Doreen Schmucker of Lake Geneva, brother-in-law Alan (Mary) Schmucker of Port Washington, other relatives and many dear friends.
He is preceded in death by his mother Shirley McDaniel and step-father Vince McDaniel. In lieu of flowers, memorials to the family are suggested. A Memorial Gathering will be held at Memories, (Hwy LL and Lake Drive in Port Washington) on Sunday, February 15th. The family will receive guests from 5-6PM, and will be followed by a celebration of Robert’s life. At his request, Robert’s remains will be placed at a family cemetery near Boscobel, WI.
Robert Steele, of Congress Drive in the Town of Trenton, passed away at his home Monday evening, February 2, 2009, after a valiant battle with lung cancer. He was 58 years old. Robert John was born in Rockford, IL on August 22, 1950, son of Robert H. and Shirley Ostrander Steele. He grew up in Boscobel and eventually his family moved to Fredonia and then Port Washington, where he graduated from Port Washington High School in 1969. After his schooling, Robert began working at Voeller Mfg. After the company was sold, he was hired by the new owners, now called Voeller Mixers, Inc.
Along with his 38 years as a machinist at Voeller, he held many part-time jobs. Supporting his family was his top priority. On May 11, 1974 he was united in marriage with Bonnie Lee Schmucker at Friedens Evangelical Church in Port Washington. Together they built a home in the Town of Trenton and raised two sons. Other than his family, his passions were fishing, hunting, his Harley and gardening. Robert was also very involved with the Port Washington Summer Theatre Company for 28 years. He did everything from building sets, playing cameo roles, working stage crew, selling concessions and videotaping to crowd control. Robert will always be remembered for his off-beat sense of humor, his honesty and his integrity.
Robert is survived by his wife Bonnie Lee and their sons Lucas (Kay) Steele of Sheboygan and Nathan (Deborah) Steele of Port Washington. He is further survived by his father Robert H. Steele of Wauzeka, sister Tamara (Mark) Short of Kenosha, parents-in-law William & Doreen Schmucker of Lake Geneva, brother-in-law Alan (Mary) Schmucker of Port Washington, other relatives and many dear friends.
He is preceded in death by his mother Shirley McDaniel and step-father Vince McDaniel. In lieu of flowers, memorials to the family are suggested. A Memorial Gathering will be held at Memories, (Hwy LL and Lake Drive in Port Washington) on Sunday, February 15th. The family will receive guests from 5-6PM, and will be followed by a celebration of Robert’s life. At his request, Robert’s remains will be placed at a family cemetery near Boscobel, WI.
Monday, February 2, 2009
Endings and Beginnings
I feel like I've been waiting to write this forever. And yet, it feels like it hasn't been nearly long enough.
My father-in-law passed away tonight. And finally he's free of the body that was failing him and free to be at peace. Certainly, I have my ideas of what that means, and I know he had his. They were not the same idea, and I have no intention of sullying his memory with conflicting religious idealism.
I can say however, that today is Imbolc. The Festival of Lights and the beginning of spring, even under the snow. Somehow, it pleases me that he was able to move on in a time of beginnings, not just in a season of endings.
I won't speculate on exactly what that means. But I will just let it be what it is.
My father-in-law passed away tonight. And finally he's free of the body that was failing him and free to be at peace. Certainly, I have my ideas of what that means, and I know he had his. They were not the same idea, and I have no intention of sullying his memory with conflicting religious idealism.
I can say however, that today is Imbolc. The Festival of Lights and the beginning of spring, even under the snow. Somehow, it pleases me that he was able to move on in a time of beginnings, not just in a season of endings.
I won't speculate on exactly what that means. But I will just let it be what it is.
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